LIIBA Life: Episode 6 – Not them again
It was always going to be the Germans, wasn’t it?
Eur not alone
Sticking with the football and two weeks in the tournament is becoming intriguing. As sport imitates life so the Mason Mount situation (as Glen Hoddle would put it) comes as no surprise. The English (and let us face it, it was primarily the English) became disenchanted with the EU is part at least because we always meticulously followed the rules when nobody else did. And so, when confronted with another European bureaucratic behemoth in the form of the UEFA doctors, their FA counterparts immediately came clean. “Oh yes, Mason and Ben were chatting with Billy on the pitch and then they had a bit of a hug in the tunnel” they confessed and Mount and Chilwell were dispatched to solitary confinement. Meanwhile the Scottish medics took a different tack “Billy who did you say? Oh, that one? No, nobody’s been anywhere near him. Nobody really likes him to be honest” and Steve Clarke had the full contingent to choose from. Not that it did him any good…
Elsewhere, that familiar frustration of all club fans at an international tournament is rearing its head large again. I refer of course to the player who produces unadulterated rubbish week in and week out for the people paying him the equivalent of the GDP of a small Central American republic who turns into a more productive version of Alfredo di Stefano when out for their country. There has been a long line of these reprobates. I was there when Jensen scored – some four years after his thunderbolt in the Euro 92 final. The crowd went so delirious that it was sometime before we recovered and realised QPR had scored three times in the interim and we were on the verge of an embarrassing home defeat. Others who have starred in this category are Roger Milla, Tomas Rosicky, Andre Arshavin (I am not being parochial, oh no)
And so I bring you the nominees for the Euro 2020 Gheorghe Hagi He Never Does That For Us Award.
Granit Xhaka – the stylish disciplined leader of Switzerland cannot be the same person who told the Emirates crowd to “**** ***” when substituted against Crystal Palace.
Andreas Christensen – clumsy, gaffe prone Chelsea centre back turned dynamic goal scoring libero for Denmark.
Aaron Ramsey – mainly because it is such a surprise to see him on the pitch.
Gareth Bale – ditto and seemingly it is Wales-Golf-Madrid-DoingTheWashingUp-TakingTheBottlesToRecycling-Ironing-TottenhamHotspur
Memphis Depay – Lionel Messi for Holland. Lionel Blair for Manchester United.
That bloke in the Welsh team that can’t get a game for Luton – because, clearly, if he played like this for them, he would get a game for Luton
Paul Pogba – Lordy, N’Golo Kante really can make anyone look good.
And so to Germany. Obviously if we just leave things as they are it will be a game of two halves at the end of which the Germans will win on penalties. So we must act to disrupt this inevitability. And, as so often in this column, ongoing inspiration comes from Nicaragua. We can rush a similar “treason law” through Parliament and turn up at the German training camp next Monday, say, to arrest 6 of their best players. Actually, scrap that, they haven’t got 6 good players, so let’s just settle for Neuer, Kroos and Havertz. After all, Mats Hummels is our most potent attacking threat. Job done. 6-0 to us, Saka gets four.
Alternatively, to return to a reliance on footballing fate, remember this. Rejecting the European Union just before the Euros worked brilliantly for Denmark in 92. We’re nailed on.
Hot town, summer in the city
Although the nights are drawing in and it is feeling ever more autumnal, there are a few days of summer left. And what better way to spend them than genning up on all aspects of resilience. And so we bring you our LIIBA/EY Summer Season – Resilience. Starting next Wednesday, 20th June at 9:45am with a session on operational resilience. The recent FCA policy paper has brought some of you into the scope of its new rules in this area. But pretty much every LIIBA member will be affected as you will be critical suppliers to the carriers who will need to assure themselves of your positions. So come and find out what you will need to do. You can register here.
And look out for the two other events in the season – to cover an SMCR refresh and a session on data protection – coming soon.
Climate of cheer
Ok, so we didn’t land Prince Charles. But hopefully you have seen the reporting of the paper we published – Our Role in Net Zero – setting out the critical part insurance brokers will play in the world achieving its climate aspirations. You can read the full paper here and the natty little infographic here.
Already this has generated productive conversations with Mark Carney’s COP26 team; UN Race to Zero crew; Foreign & Commonwealth Development Office renewable energy team in Taipei; Department for International Trade; and OECD. All showing that LIIBA members are increasingly where they should be – at the heart of helping the world meet its biggest challenges.
More gas from Hobbs
She gave the impression she did not have much to add this week. “Only if you are doing one” was, I believe, the precise quote. So feel phenomenally relieved that this is not a bumper week…
- LIIBA’s quarterly claims forum was held on Monday. Due to some pesky issues with MS Teams (workperson? Tools?), only 60 attendees could be admitted. The recording and slides will be loaded and made available in our website library next week for those who were unable to attend.
- LIIBA has formed a sub-group to engage with Lloyd’s on their Faster Claim Payments delivery, which is initially focussing on DA claims. A pilot has commenced and the expected delivery after this is expected in Q4 this year. Along with the Faster Claim Payments, a claim bordereaux tracker will be delivered.
- The go live date of DCM has been pushed out until the end of July to allow additional time for market firms to set up access and details. The BAR freeze(yay! An ice bar!) date has been confirmed as Friday 16th July and therefore brokers should aim to get records as up to date as possible prior to this time.
- LIIBA will be holding a Facilities Forum on Wednesday 4th August where Lloyd’s will be in attendance. The webinar will cover:
- Knowledge articles and other post live (ie dead?) resources available
- Service desk processes, including SLA’s
- User Group information
- Information about upcoming releases (the new Mabel single is quite good IMHO)
An invite for this event will be sent out in due course but for those wishing to book the time in their diaries, the event will be from 9.30am to 10.30am
- Lloyd’s have advised the conditions of trade will be stood up for January 2023 renewals, thereby effectively mandating use of this system for brokers on premium and claim bordereaux. As DDM is also a pre-requisite for claims work being undertaken on the Faster Claims Payments and Bordereaux tracker, LIIBA will be holding an event in July that covers the end to end purpose and usage of this system. Details of the event will be available shortly.
Diversity & Inclusion:
- The STEM learning week, which is LIIBA’s flagship initiative for 2021, will be taking place w/c 23rd August. We have now recruited all roles for the weeks’ worth of planned activities and would like to thank all brokers who have volunteered to be part of this worthwhile project. We will be posting updates in the run up to the event but for those who haven’t heard about the detail and would like to know more, our webinar and slides from our launch event are available on our website.
If they get one, we need two to win
In a blow to mansplainers everywhere, UEFA has decided to abandon the away goals rule. Next to “if you’re level, you’re on” this was the most popular entry in the lexicon of patronising football expertise. And it will bring to an end my long held theory that the best result you can get in a home first leg of a European tie is 0-0 – because that meant you just needed to nick one on the break (don’t worry, I’ll explain it later) to more or less guarantee going through. A theory based almost entirely on the fact that that was how Arsenal knocked Milan out of the European Cup.
Note how I naturally used the past tense in that bit. It has finally got to me.
Anyhow, this is sacrilege. What else is in the line of fire for this incessant dumbing down of elite sport. Are we now to expect that soon a batsman can be out LBW if the ball pitches outside leg stump? What of the 16 red 155 break in snooker? Don’t tell me it is finally going to become clear who can do what to whom at the breakdown in rugby? The entire foundations of civilisation are under threat. We must resist.
I vowel to me my country
Just because I am suffering, I don’t see why you shouldn’t too. The rise to world champion status of the Black Caps this week is being frequently cited by certain residents of the Croft household in any context it can be shoe horned into. And it is somewhat of a pain. Especially as they will now seek to impose their separate language of the sport on the rest of us. So, from now on we will be expected to refer to the crucket; betting will be what you do when you are not bowling; and fielders will be expected to do their kitsching practice before play. Aotearoa – the land of the limited vowel.
Just to finish on a rare genuine moment, huge friend of this column (and occasional butt of its jibes) John Muir is in hospital as I type recovering from surgery. Since, despite all his false protests, I know that he loves getting a mention, can I just take this opportunity to say, on behalf of our whole community, get well soon John. You are a star in our midst and we miss you and can’t wait to see you back in your element – profanely lambasting some hapless Lloyd’s apparatchik. But only when the combined force of Kate Roy and Mrs Muir sign off that you are properly better. In the meantime, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Take care of yourself.
Until next time