Don’t worry.  It’s not the rona.  But it is sufficient to incapacitate her for the day.  So no bulking lineslips! Possibly no insurance at all!  Correo electronico libre o mourir!

Before we get started, can I just say that it is a bit edgy in parts this week but that any offence I may cause is entirely unintentional.  And I have a really weird way of pronouncing the word “mingling”.

A message to you Rudy

What happened to Rudy Giuliani?  2001 and in tribute to his statesmanlike response to the terrible atrocity that had hit his city he was hailed as not just Mayor of New York but “America’s Mayor”.  Time magazine man of the year.  2002 and he receives an honorary knighthood from Olivia Coleman.  Successful(ish) business career and he is viewed as the front runner for the Republican nomination for President in 2008.

Which is where things probably started to go wrong.  A slightly bizarre decision not to enter the race until Super Tuesday meant that John McCain had pretty much stitched things up before he had begun.  A return to private practice and then the somewhat fateful decision in 2018 to become the private attorney to President Trump.  And now what?  America’s Mayor, “Sir” Rudy Giuliani sweating hair dye down his face and being trolled by a Philadelphia garden centre* whilst claiming that a Venezuelan conspiracy had stolen the election from his client in order to install the communist Joe Biden.

Mate, the Venezuelans cannot even get their own oil out of the ground.  How in the name of all things holy do you expect them to have fixed an overseas election?  It is like trying to pin a sophisticated bank heist on Matt Hancock.  Just never going to happen.  Perhaps it is in the name that leads you to having your reputation tarnished by association with a man who has fallen from grace.  After all, there was a Rudy in the Cosby Show

*yes I know it’s not really them, but don’t spoil it

Coleen bill of health?

This week’s most important development has, of course, been the opening of court proceedings in the Wag Wars between Becky Vardy and Coleen Rooney.  And we have learnt so many things without which life would be barely worth living.  Not the least of which is the discovery that Jamie Vardy has a Social Media Manager.  I mean, is that really a job?  What does it entail precisely?  Sat there on Twitter going “chased 73 balls just mindlessly hoofed over the top today.  Yay me! #totalfootball” or googling “how to cope with a manager who has swallowed a self-help book” or #CanIPlayArsenalEveryWeek?

Neither protagonist actually bothered to show up – #TeamBecky preferring her Dancing on Ice training to watching lawyers that could potentially cost almost a month of the Vardy family income.  Meanwhile, in order to avoid a predictable embarrassment, counsel for one or other of them took it upon themselves to explain to the judge what a WAG was.  #TeamColeen’s basic argument is that she did not accuse #TeamBecky of being the source of the leaked stories about her, she accused “Rebecca Vardy’s [Instagram] account” – an inanimate object without legal personality that presumably cannot sue for damages.  #TeamBecky’s counter is that it defo was not her and maybe the account has developed a mind of its own.  A phenomenon I think we have to cling to otherwise we would have to conclude that the Pope spends his spare time surfing the internet looking at soft porn.  And life is surely bleak enough without having to take on that burden.

A couple of other random observations whilst we are here.  #TeamColeen has retained Jonny Depp’s lawyer – so he really needs a win.  And whilst I know it is a mistake to try and get inside the mind of trolls, how, how, how could you ever get into such a position as to suggest that Rebecca Vardy is the new head of Islamic State?  That really is special.

Are we Livettating?

I have some terrible news.  Although Jackie is not with us (seriously, it is not that bad – Ed), James has taken it upon himself to step into the breach.  So we will have to contend with some dull as dishwater insurance content for a moment.  The King of office styling would like you to know the following.

  1. Lloyd’s BREXIT : Deferred & Delinked Transactions.

LIIBA hosted Lloyd’s and 70 people from the 28 brokers who are impacted by some delinking and deferred instalment challenges as a result the Lloyd’s Part VII transfer.  This session was aimed at answering the questions that Broker’s may have with regard to the process published in the Lloyd’s Master Design Document (seriously?  Is that what it is called?  It sounds like something Hitler might have published! Am I allowed to mention Hitler in these pages? No? Oh…).   This session was recorded and is available on our website.

  1. Lloyd’s will be issuing details of an Emergency Settlement Protocol for Claims (cf above)to be put into place for the extended year end settlement closure.  For those that missed it, no settlements will be made between 24th December 2020 and 4th January 2021 (but surely now there is a vaccine we don’t have to put up with these lockdowns anymore?).  Further information can be found in the DXC Market Communication 202/108 sent back in October.  Copy is available on our Website.
  2. A week or so ago DXC published Market Communication 2020/114 which contained a new Correction Form and some updated processes.  These were put together in conjunction with members of the LIIBA Accounting & Settlement Committee “BASIC”.  It is hoped that this will assist DXC in streamlining the Corrections process and start to bring down the time is takes to get Corrections processed (utter filth).
  3. I am offering some thoughts on the Lloyd’s Blueprint 2 at TINTech on the 2nd December 2020. Conference is 1st and 2nd December 2020 (now listen here.  I am the one who does the self-promotion on here, not you)
  4. I am moderating a session at the Marine Insurance Conference on the 9th December 2020. Conference is 8th to 10th December 2020 (shameless)

ASIC situation

Now I know we all have some issues with our beloved FCA and its foibles.  But at least they do not extend as far as the slightly mind-blowing events surrounding the Australian Securities and Investment Commission.  In the past month, firstly chair James Shipton had to resign after it was discovered that he had claimed $118,000 on expenses for personal tax advice.  Then deputy chair Daniel Crennan also had to resign because he had, shall we say embezzled? Is that too harsh? $70,000 to help smooth his passage from Melbourne to Sydney to take the job on.

Now I know what you are thinking.  Land of convicts and all that.  But I am not going to go there.  It really is pretty disturbing when your chief financial regulator gets caught in the midst of financial impropriety.  Surely it can’t be.  We have to have some morsels of dignity to hang on to given everything else that is going on.  I mean, if this were true, it would be like we lived in a world where the Pope spent his spare time surfing the internet looking at soft porn.


Binge spending

It has been a bit dark this week, for which I can only apologise.  So let us brighten the mood by deservedly celebrating success as the consultants like to b*****k.  As a nation, year on year, we have collectively spent £3.6 BILLION more on alcohol than in 2019.  That is a monumental achievement.  So I propose a toast to us!  Cheers!

I am off to see what my Instagram account has got up to whilst I haven’t been looking.