So, you have staked an enormous amount of your personal and your administration’s capital in ensuring schools reopen in September. But that is in jeopardy because you can’t persuade the teaching unions that it is safe (in part this being because it isn’t). And so you oversee a process whereby your government implicitly suggests that teachers are at best untrustworthy and possibly downright corrupt. At which point you **** off “camping with Carrie and baby Wilf” – which absolutely no-one believes. And you are still not sure where Wilf came from or whose he is. Leadership.
It has been a while since I read Animal Farm and so I can’t remember what part the dogs played in the take over of power. But I am pretty sure it is all coming true with the news that Germany has passed a law that mandates two walks a day for all dogs. We have often brought tales of the wild antics of various despots in these pages. Now we can expand that to the activities of despets. German legislators have been hounded into what must be the first stage in enshrining fundamental canine rights in its statute book. Soon to come the Halfshare in all Human Meals Act (2020), the Squirrel Elimination Act (2021) and the First Dibs on the Sofa White Paper later on next year. Even as I type I have four spaniel eyes staring at me and then flicking their stare to where their lead is kept as if to say “you can do it for yourself or we can call the police. Which is it to be?” The balance of power, so long in dispute, has turned decisively.
What you BeLIIB
An update on some of the things we have been pursuing on your behalf recently
- Two broker sessions in the last week held on the Lloyd’s Part VII transfer (haven’t you suffered enough?). The slides from the session are attached and the recording of the sessions will be on the Market events section of our website next week. Important to note that the slides are already out of date as the planned published date for version 5 of the Market Design Document (MDD) delayed.
- We continue to liaise with Lloyd’s / LIC on the practical considerations relating to how EIOPA Recommendation 9 will be managed through the placement, accounting and claim processes. Lloyd’s is aware of the urgency, given early guidance is required especially around renewals of tacit binding authorities and complications around the processing of bulking Lineslips (who really should be a star in WWE).
- We are continuing discussions with the LMA and IUA around Covid clauses and hope to be able to share details regarding these soon.
- Lloyd’s has launched its change management communications via an event this week. (Slides attached and an exciting Toolkit are attached). A recording of the launch session will be made available shortly but in the meantime, we’ve been made aware that not all broking firms have advised Lloyd’s who they should be contacting. To do this please apply here: https://communications.lloyds.com/199/1597/landing-pages/rsvp-blank.asp?sid=2e0881dc-af4f-4969-8052-480e094b5a42. I would add a pithy comment here but am genuinely struggling to know what this means. But many thanks to Jackie Hobbs for adding a welcome bit of relevance to this week’s email.
Feeling glad AMLOver
I hold the following truths to be self-evident. We have not heard from Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador in this column since we examined his motives in cosying up to Chapo Guzman’s mum a couple of month’s back. And this world can never have enough conspiracy theories to keep us entertained. So how about this?
AMLO is hugely enjoying the current corruption investigations into his two immediate predecessors – Enrique Pena Nieto and Felipe Calderon Hinojosa. And he still blames Calderon Hinojosa for stealing the 2006 Presidential election from him and remains bitter about it. Both men have been accused of accepting huge amounts of cash from the aforementioned Guzman. In Pena Nieto’s case the accusations come from Guzman himself (in his defence when on trial in New York) and amount to payments of $100m. So, clearly, if these accusations are to stick there is one star witness that needs to be called. So, AMLO applies to have Chapo extradited back to Mexico to provide evidence in the trials of his predecessors. Trump, keen not to be seen to support political corruption at a time when he is busy trying to fix his re-election, immediately acquiesces. Chapo is sent to CDMX and detained back in the Mexican prison system. From which he easily escapes for the third time and thus allows AMLO to fulfil his promise to Senora Guzman when he dropped in for tea (and she slipped him $200m under the table). You heard it here first.
Things we never thought we would see (part 753)
This is lifted direct from an email from FCA.
“Throughout the coronavirus crisis consumers have been expected to make difficult financial decisions, many of which carry longer term consequences. We have been monitoring and evaluating the disclosure of firms, to understand if they are providing consumers with enough support with their decisions. We are impressed with how firms have approached disclosure during this crisis, and welcome the accessible and engaging disclosures that have been designed. We hope firms will build on what they have achieved and continue to design innovative disclosures that facilitate consumer understanding. For more information please email CDD-RetailDistribution-Queries@fca.org.uk”
Impressed? Welcome? Engaging? Where have they learnt such words? Who has kidnapped the real FCA and can we never have them back?
Joel Wood: an apology
Last week I shamelessly lifted the piece on the US BI court case from material sent to me by our friend and colleague at CIAB in Washington Joel Wood. And not only did I forget to credit him and say thank you, I compounded the error by showcasing his arch rival and competitor for the title “CIAB Joel”, Joel Kopperud. And all this despite JW (or as he prefers to be known “Big” Joel) having acted as my de facto agent these last few months by forwarding all my best cricket jokes on to a bemused CIAB distribution list. So, I can only apologise. I have let you down, I have let CIAB down, I have let LIIBA down. But most importantly I have let myself down. And if it is any consolation, you have always been my favourite Joel (but don’t tell JK that because I tell him the same thing when you are not about. Oh **** he gets these emails. But don’t worry, I am fairly sure he doesn’t read them). Do you think this section has become mutually self-indulgent enough yet?
That is it for what may be the last week of all our existences. Because the ravens at the Tower are bored and looking to bust out.