Just a warning for those of you who come here in search of useful insurance related covid info to help you through the crisis.  There is none of that here.


The perfect couple


If lockdown has revealed anything it is that the people of Britain are obsessed with two things – McDonalds (although possibly not quite sufficiently to go to these lengths all the time) and online quizzing.  So I am pleased to be able to bring you the perfect fusion.  Answers are at the bottom but I take some issue with them.  Spinach and parmesan nuggets surely hail from Islington not Italy?  Nasi Lemak cannot be a McDonalds product else it would be McNasi Lemc.  If you can’t rely on McConsistency here the world will end.  The McKroket is only available in Miami and there is a mandatory meal deal that includes the McTubbs as well.  I have seen many example of the Chicken McDo on video conferencing since all the hairdressers shut.  Black and White burgers is the latest duet from Stevie Wonder and everybody’s least favourite Beatle.  And the McTurco is surely not acceptable?


Labouring the point


According to themselves, the Labour Party lost the election last December because it has a leader no-one could stand; was on the wrong side of the central issue; and ran on a manifesto no-one believed.  Oh, and they were rubbish at putting this compelling offering to the people because they can’t do social media.  So, nothing that new people; new policies; and a new approach wouldn’t sort out.


Or, as Jez himself so succinctly put it: “we won the argument”.


Saff – ron and reg


Before deciding your weekend menu your should probably err on the safe side and steer clear of Spanish fayre.  This is because police are on the lookout for a massive paella on the go in the wake of the theft of £50,000 worth of saffron.  Hard to know whether the nation’s greatest ever spice heist was a targeted job or a bunch of chancers who thought they had stumbled on some very thin copper wire (or lurid cement mix if it was in powdered form).  Good to see an appropriate appointment for lead officer investigating the incident, though, in the form of Detective Sergeant Laura Milanese – known as “Risotto” down the nick.


Absolute Raabish


As we noted yesterday, it was a bad week for Matt Hancock.  But he has been spared too much opprobrium due to another stellar performance from the Foreign Secretary.  Now, it may not have escaped your notice, but this column does not have a great opinion of “Dim” Dom Raab.  After all, this is the man who, in the midst of a Conservative landslide, managed to reduce his majority to 2,000 in Esher & Hersham.  As someone who grew up in Esher & Hersham (well, not Hersham, obviously, I am better than that) I know what an extraordinary achievement that is.  So let us celebrate a few more of the Rabbsters finest moments long before he proved never to have heard of Colin Kaepernick.  The classic not knowing about Dover; the unbelievably crass “probably not a feminist” moment (he should fear more taking the knee from “the missus” not for her. In the groin); and my personal favourite – the claim that Brexit would not lead to customs checks in the Red Sea.  And this man has just been given a much bigger job???



Must go – I need to stir the massive pot of rice and seafood I have got on the barbecue…