Oh my god we’re back again.  Brothers, sisters everybody sing.  And just to note that, because of the renaissance of late 90s fashion brought on by popular cultural references that I see myself as being largely responsible for, this particular one is so on point it could cut glass.


Live court room action


The first case management conference for FCA’s business interruption test cases took place yesterday and was live streamed on t’internet.  So I can only apologise that my selfish pursuit of hedonism at Scotney Castle meant that I could not bring you this news in time for you to watch as it happened.  But fear not, the link still works and so I will now seek to make up for my error by recruiting some of the participants to join a Sky Sports style watch along tonight from 8pm*.  But for those of you who may strangely not wish to sit through all six hours and five minutes I have set out the salient points below.  Although the lockdown haircuts on display are pretty funny – and I never stopped laughing at the beards in Ronald F Maxwell’s four hour depiction of Gettysburg (which I maintain I am the only person I the world to have seen twice) so it may be enough to sustain you through the whole thing.


Anyway, they concluded the following.


  1. The pilot Financial Markets Test Case Scheme under Practice Direction 51M shall apply to the FCA’s claim. All parties were in agreement. Mr Justice Butcher (Pat’s husband) acknowledged that insurance claims would not generally fall to be dealt with in the Financial List but the present case raises issues of general importance for the financial markets.
  2. The trial of the claim shall be expedited.
  3. The next CMC is to be heard remotely on 26 June 2020.
  4. The trial is listed to commence on 20 July 2020 with a time estimate of eight days (excluding pre-reading).
  5. During the CMC, much emphasis was placed on the need for the parties to work collaboratively in their approach to proceedings.


And if you want to know more but don’t have six hours, then this excellent piece by Weightman’s (from where I flagrantly plagiarised the bit above) is the place to go.


Fight the power


Inspired by the experience of both Geraldine and a senior member of Aon staff (just for clarity, not that one) I can bring you a new weapon to help survive wfh lockdown hell – the power cut.  Rather than “connectivity issues” – which imply a degree of temporary interruption and could suggest an ability to resolve oneself – preventing you joining that meeting you just can’t face, a power cut takes it to a whole new level.  They  could last for days (who is to know that you aren’t calling in from your second home in downtown Caracas?); they could have been caused by almost anything; and they render all of your devices redundant (so long as you rapidly run down your phone battery).  So, what with the football back and everything, why not reward yourself for your dedication thus far by nipping down the road and drilling through the cable whilst erecting a “Thames Water – repairing your mains” sign to deflect suspicion?  Freedom is at hand.


Blunder down under?


Today sees the start of trade negotiations with both Australia and New Zealand.  The former will be kicked off with a Zoom call between our Prime Minister and Australia’s Scott Morrison (presumably Bozzer is not to be trusted on his own with Jacinda).   Morrison is likely to push for a deal on digital and media services that preserves the future of Neighbours and Home & Away plus the return of his family supermarket chain.  Johnson will ask for the Ashes and Tasmania in return.  Meanwhile, talks with Auckland have been somewhat compromised because we have given away one of our big competitive advantages already when we inadvertently re-exported coronavirus back into NZ earlier this week.


Whilst on the subject of the Ashes, it appears Australian cricket is in turmoil over the question of player’s salaries.  This is excellent news as the last time they really got embroiled in this beef, all their best players waltzed off with Packer and they were rubbish for several years.  Such a pity that the impending drubbings will be behind closed doors.


Pimp my ride


Newsflash American Airlines – nobody likes a grey plane.  And why not divert some of our plentiful public funds to a bit of a spruce up of the dedicated government jet anyway?  It is not like the nation is imprisoned with millions under threat of losing their jobs; or that HMT has had to plough hundreds of billions of pounds into rescue packages that it can so ill afford it is having to raid pensions.  So a little bit of a frivolous paint job will make the smiles already on everybody’s faces beam that little e bit more.


Oh hold on…


I thought the point of populist politicians was that they were good at this sort of thing?  Although, given current government form, I think we can expect to discover that Jack Grealish’s mum is a furloughed pilot that BA is about to sack and, after a short Tik Tok campaign which Boris won’t have watched, the plane will disappear and never be seen again.



I am off to get ready for the Master v the Apprentice at 8:15pm.  An even contest save for the fact that the Master just has much better players at his disposal.