It is questionable whether some players (I am thinking Mesut Ozil) have ever engaged in contact, training or otherwise.  So it is going to come as a bit of a shock.


Life under lockdown – part 473


Yet more data is emerging of the typical British life that has developed since March 16th.  And it is not a pretty sight.  With a compassionate regard for our fellow humans, we are spending nearly three hours a day watching TV (an obvious lie – that would only be three episodes of Killing Eve or the Last Dance) but only 16 minutes contacting friends and family.  18 extra minutes sleeping also sounds an underestimate to me and clearly the survey excluded my dogs.  And then there are the vast amounts of time spent eating and basically just drunk – especially if you live in Scotland or the North of England where this is presumably primarily to drown out the sorrow of not being able to go to McDonald’s.  If a nation truly knows itself in crisis we have emerged as a group of self-centred, lethargic, semi sozzled halfwits.  If only this was some sort of shock.


O E (CD) Gods


Some terrifying data on the extent of the global economic collapse published by OECD.  Looks bad for us and US as well as Brazil and Russia.  China on the way back from the worse slump (although there is the standard “but no-one believes them” caveat that all of these things carry).  Good effort from Japan.


And this provides quite a useful (if lengthy) summary of the various economic responses.


Spreading the Spore-on


It turns out that the entire corona virus outbreak in both Scotland and Portugal all stems from a kilt fitting at a Nike convention.  No word as to whether the reduced covering that individuals would traditionally sport in this circumstance had a direct effect on the infection rate but it needs investigating.  Although far more worrying is that employees of Nike need to hire someone whose job is, at least in part, “showing them how to lace their shoes”.  Because, you know, that should surely by, like, part of their job? #JustVelcroIt


Von der Lending


European Commission has called for the power to borrow €750bn to bankroll recovery efforts after the coronavirus crisis, warning that failure to act would leave the EU permanently fractured along economic lines.  This is not popular with the Dutch and the Austrians and other northern EU states.  But it is a pretty stern test of the power of the Union.  Because if it doesn’t respond in a crisis and leaves member states to their own devices, you would have to question what the point of it is? (when did you come over all Nigel? – Ed).


Eating will be cheating


A gloomy, if unsurprising, assessment of the future of the City restaurant.  Not much to say.  The eggonomic depression will be (corned beef) hash.  Ginvestment decisions will be challenged for years.  (Demi) sectors of the economy will be left in tatt(ing)ers.  The troutlook is bleak….



That’s it.  I am off to spend 51.9 minutes less than Mrs C on the household chores.