There was a terrible moment this morning when Charlie Whatshisface on BBC Breakfast said “we’ve been doing some research into you Captain Tom and…” – and I thought he was about to say “we’ve uncovered some pretty dark secrets” and that the nation’s hero would turn out to have spent the 70s in the National Front or something.  But it was much worse than that.  He had appeared on Blankety Blank.

Upping the ante

After the shame of the trouserless US reporter yesterday you might have been forgiven for thinking that broadcasting from home faux pas could not get much worse.  But you would have been severely mistaken.  Alfonso Merlos has taken it to a whole new level.  Some suggestion of a Friends style “we were on a break” dispute, but it doesn’t look good for him.

So who can raise this bar again?  Well, the Prime Minister is back in Downing St and Carrie is away.  So, given his track record, keep your eyes glued to the room behind him when he fronts the daily press conference this afternoon…


The latest market service performance statistics are attached.  Data so positive that you do wonder whether it is prepared by the Governor of Wuhan.  But I am sure not.

Keep it reg

Just a reminder of the principles that both FCA and EIOPA expect firms to stick to in the current crisis, the gist of which is:

  1. Provide customers with clear and timely information on where they are covered and where they are not.  This should probably extend to reminding them that they may need to inform their insurers if they are not manning offices, warehouses etc.
  2. Treat customers fairly and make communications explicit.
  3. Inform customers about the contingency plans you have put in place to continue to function as a business.
  4. Continue to follow the product oversight and governance rules (remembering that these do not apply to large risks).
  5. Be flexible and try and adapt to the interests of the customer.

All quite trite, but they will be watching.


Further details are emerging of the typical lockdown Briton.  We have already established that this specimen is dieting almost entirely on Pot Noodles.  It is also drinking a lot more but lying about it to The Guardian.  All the while listening to “chilled out tunes” on Spotify or watching Netflix.  Indeed one of the few truly amazing phenomena of the current crisis is that there is an outside chance that Netflix might make a profit.

Another is that the Spotify Chief Executive is called Daniel Ek.  Known as “Flippin” in the dressing room.

Enough for today.  But a trailer for tomorrow, possibly.  I was on a call with a representative of the EU negotiating team today with an update on the latest round of talks.  I need to establish the rules around me summarising what he said but it included phrases such as “completely off the mark”; “significant differences”; “superficial”; and “come from a different planet”.  #goingwell

20200429 – LIMOSS Pandemic update v1